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Kicked In The Junk

A "share" blog for fellow poker bloggers who've been kicked in the junk one too many times.
Bad beat via a two outer on the river? Boss giving you shit?
Click the Admin link below and get to writing.

Login: kickedinthejunk Password: groinpains

A Swift Jab To The Groinal Area

Thursday, May 26, 2005
Party Poker No-Limit Hold'em, $100 NL, $1 BB (10 handed) converter

Button ($152.75)
SB ($155.35)
BB ($105.75)
UTG ($102.55)
UTG+1 ($359.24)
UTG+2 ($87.8)
MP1 ($102)
MP2 ($60.45)
Hero ($94.21)
CO ($36.2)

Preflop: Hero is MP3 with 9c, Tc. SB posts a blind of $0.5.
4 folds, MP2 calls $1, Hero calls $1, 2 folds, SB (poster) raises to $4.5, BB calls $4, MP2 folds, Hero calls $4.

Flop: ($16) 8c, 4c, 3c (3 players)
SB checks, BB bets $9, Hero raises to $25, SB folds, BB calls $91.75 (All-In), Hero calls $64.21 (All-In).

Turn: ($205.96) Qd (2 players, 2 all-in)

River: ($205.96) 8d (2 players, 2 all-in)

Final Pot: $205.96

Villain shows QQ.
Villain wins $205.96 with a runner-runner full house.



Today's Lesson

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Feels like


That is all.

(Buffalo66 - Buffalo Hold 'Em)


Saturday, May 14, 2005
Some fuckstick stole my lawn mower from our carport last night. I had moved it out of our storage building cause we had a party and I didn't want people to have to step over the mower to get to the extra fridge where we keep our alcomahol. I forgot to put it back after the party and somebody decided they should own it instead. Probably some crackhead who sold it 20 minutes later for a hit. Better hope that's what it was cause if I find somebody in my neighborhood mowing with my mower...it will officially be on. Can't imagine somebody so stupid.

I'm beliefless about this...I have no belief...3 months ago both of our cars were broken into...and now this. It's not like we live in a bad neighborhood. Damn we're in a great neighborhood.

I expect Karma can be a bitch when you involve sharp blades on mechanical, um, machines. So whoever you are, watch your shins you dickweed.

Kicked in the junk, no doubt.



Thursday, May 05, 2005
I hate losing on the bubble.

On one particular site, I started out with $0. I won a few pennies playing in free rolls, and built it up to about 400 player points, about $4 worth. Problem is, you can't convert them into cash until it hits $10. I played on...and on...and on.

It took me over six months to get 1100 points. Talk about dedication (or stupidity if you prefer). I was playing for real money on other sites, and at this stage had built my online bankroll to over $1K. But not at this particular site - I had turned my points into a lovely $11. Still well below the minimum withdraw amount.

I had been killing the $10+$1 SNG at Party, a ITM percentage somewhere above 75%. Why not put all this $11 into one of them? Lets roll.

I played uber-tight, and I was forced too as I had no cards. We get down to 5 when I start to see some pictures cards and what not, and I drag a few pots. When I knocked out 5th, I was only a few chips behind the chip leader. We are on the bubble people, with two micro-stacks!

Micro-stack one goes all in with QJo, I call with 66. QJo is good for a flopped two pair. Micro-stack two goes all-in the very next hand with A6o, and I call with Big Slick. Four spades on the board go with his six, and leave me out to dry.

I have doubled up both small stacks, then ground them back down only to double BOTH of them up again. Everybody is about even when for the first time in the SNG, I get those lovely Aces peaking up at me. And I have position.

UTG makes a call, now it's over to me. I double the blinds, which is enough to get SB and BB out of the action. UTG re-raises all-in, and I gladly call. He flips over two little snowmen, and I have Aces of Junk Kicking +2.

The flop is xx8. WHAT? A &*^%#^)@ two outer? This is crap! My entire six months worth of toil down the drain! Why would you do that to me?

The turn is another Ace. Take that mofo! Here is to your puny little snowmen! Looks like it just got a hell of a lot hotter in here my friend - FEAR ME!

The river is the junk-kicking fourth 8. Hell has frozen over. 6 months are for naught. To rub it in, the two other players applaud him on his excellent call. I lost to a two-outer and a one-outer in the same hand.

My voice reached a frequency that was previously impossible when my testicles were intact.

Love Heafy (pokeronfilm)

Who's holding the junk?

Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Midnight tourney, seat 5, very first hand: 88. Fold, fold, I raise 3x blinds. Seat 6 re-raises me. Folded back to me, I look over and he says, "Been getting pocket pairs all night!" He's got either AK or 22... no way he'd talk about a bigger pocket pair. I push all-in and he reluctantly calls.


Flop? 499.


As I coughed up my junk, I passed them to my wife who ended up finishing 3rd.


Testes, Testes, 1 2 3, Testes...

Monday, May 02, 2005

On the heels of the WPBT WSoP Satellite last night - one that saw yours truly get kicked in the junk to the tune of 58th out of 65 - I decided to give what I've dubbed a share blog a try. First let me step back a moment and give some details

During the last 2 satellite tourneys there's been some funny shit written in the chat box. So much it's hard to keep up with. However, it seemed getting kicked in the junk was a theme that came up often. I'm pretty sure it was usually the result of a good comment from Dr. Pauly or Bob with others - including myself - chiming in. At one point I asked the good Doctor if he had reserved kickedinthejunk.blogspot.com to which he replied, "already done...it's where I write my bad beat stories. I chuckled and moved on...until today.

The good Doctor was obviously joking, but I've decided to take action. While this is primarily a joke, I figure why not have a "share" blog for fellow bloggers, readers, and anyone else to come and write whatever they want. Write about bad beats you've dealt and/or received. Let us know about a shitty job situation. Tell us all about your asshole boyfriend/girlfriend. Write about how to screw a donkey...wait that ones already been done. Do whatever feels right to you.

Sometimes these types of posts are not something you necessarily want to put on your blog...I've read all too many times a blogger who wrote, this is the last time I write a bad beat story, I promise. So here's your answer.

As for me, my getting Kicked In The Junk was not the result of a bad beat. Instead, it was one of those scenarios when you don't have the nuts, but you truly think you have the best hand. Only to find, when the chips are ready to move, they make their way to your opponents stack. For me the following hand came up against EasyCure, a fellow blogger I'm glad I was able to meet, just wish it hadn't been under these circumstances.

Early in the tourney - probably 30 minutes in - I pick up AK spades and raise it up. Easy either calls or puts in a raise, I can't remember. Either way, we were the only ones to see the flop. the flop comes K J K giving me a set with an A kicker. I'm feeling pretty damn good about my hand. I bet out around 500 and Easy goes all-in. I make the call and he flips over JJ for the flopped full house. No miracles come and just like that I'm out.

Before the flop I thought I was in the lead or had a good hand to see a flop with. Turns out I was already behind, albeit slightly. When the flop came I most def thought I was in a commanding lead. Turns out I was way behind. Just goes to show, unless your holding the nuts, your ass can be beat. And even when you're holding the nuts, you can still be drawn out on.

I wouldn't have played the hand any differently, nor would Easy, so I'm fine with it. It's just initially a shock to the system when you think you're golden and the chips make their way to the other guy.

So that's it for me. If no one ever leaves another post on this site, then that's cool. It was just a quick, fun experiment I thought I would try. I realize there are much easier forums that we could use to make our voices heard, but I just figured a shared blog would be kind of cool to try out.

So if you wanna leave a note, add a link, add a picture, change the template or whatever...go for it. It's a work in progress. Just please leave the donkeys alone and for friggin sake, guard your groin!

Poker In Arrears